Where's That Pill

 By Florida Bill

            About 25 years ago, the hushed-up problem of male inadequacy burst from the closet and exploded onto the airways. The problem has probably been around since caveman days, but talk of impotency never qualified as a topic for casual chit chat at dinner parties and other social gatherings.
            Now that performance problems have practically become a part of pop culture, crude expressions for a man's lack of staying power are taking a back seat to the gentlemanly appellation "Erectile Dysfunction," or by its more popular nickname, ED.
            Inadequacy in the bedroom is a serious matter and I do not make light of it. But does the condition belong in TV commercials played during events like the World Series or popular made-for-TV special shows. Many parents, and men and women of a less effusive sexual temperament, have a problem with the nonstop hawking of drugs and treatments designed to counter ED and restore joy and satisfaction to marriages, and those "special times" between a guy and his gal on a heavy date.
           Recently, a St. Louis Cardinals pitcher, Adam Wainwright, complained in a tweet about the never ending ED commercials broadcast during major league baseball games. "Kids are watching....and I shouldn't have to turn channels because of these ads," he said. Others with children have complained of having to try and explain the "four-hour problem" which might require someone to seek immediate medical care. Other parents wanted the commercials removed when, in one case, their 9-year-old son began singing the "Viagra jingle."
           Congressman Jim Moran of Virginia persists in trying to force the manufacturers of ED medication to "tone down" the hawking of their product, particularly during times when youngsters are watching. He believes strongly in pushing legislation which he has entitled "Families for Erectile Dysfunction Advertising Decency" but so far has been unsuccessful.
           It seems to me that the ED craze got going in the 1990s when Pfizer Drug company developed Viagra and retained former Republican Presidential nominee Bob Dole as its spokesman. Dole had been a member of Congress more than 30 years and had a disabled arm from his service in the military in World War II.
Dole was 75 when he began speaking on television and at functions in favor of "the great drug" and freely acknowledged that he himself was plagued by ED. 
           His wife, Elizabeth who was then a United States senator from North Carolina, and 13 years his junior, fortunately had the good taste to play no public role in his promotion of the drug. It was never disclosed how much Dole was compensated by Pfizer, but it was believed to be in the millions.
           After the popular Dole made his debut, the ED market really took off. Along with Viagra came Cialis and Lavitra and others less known, all guaranteeing a man greater performance in the bedroom. And with them came more of the commercials with assurances that these miracle drugs could do the impossible and make ED vanish. Viewers were treated to happy couples lounging on the beach and gazing at each other longingly. There were recommendations that certain drugs should be used on a daily basis "so that you can be ready any time that the moment is right."
           Competition remains fierce and the ads seem to be getting more and more direct. One recommends, "get back in the saddle again." In another, there is a smiling couple playing touch football and apparently having a good time. But lest all that happiness leads to naught, the narrator suggests asking your doctor if Cialis is right for you.
           And the latest TV spots, as well as large ads in newspapers, add a brand new touch of eroticism on behalf of the ED drugs. Now we have advertising which often features only a very attractive and sensuous young woman, wearing a smile and a scanty clothing, and apparently waiting for something to happen.
           Like all companies marketing pharmaceuticals on television, the makers of ED drugs are required to include references to all possible side effects--and that scary list ought to put a damper on anybody's fun, but probably doesn't. And of course there is that notorious expression of concern urging immediate medical attention if four hours of readiness is exceeded.
           If cigarette smoking can be restricted on TV, then surely there can be a way to aim the ED commercials at a more adult audience, especially since they are the only ones that actually need to worry about ED.